its been a while since i was here...i miss this...sigh
was i too busy or was i just lazy to write anything? well, i think both...
i think i am loosing my grip on everything...and i meant everything...
i feel that i need time for my self and reorient things...you might be thinking that am in another "critical" situation again, but hey, not really.
there are just times in our lives that we wanted to break free...from anything. i don't want to imply that i am tired of the kind of life that i have but sometimes, i feel that everything has become a routine for me. and i don't want to loose such enthusiasm and energy that i have.
i feel like am choking at times, or maybe because i am taking everything seriously...one friend even told me, "loosen up gurl, you seemed just too tight these days!" and i just nodded and smiled. maybe because i know that it's true but i am just denying it.
i thought about it several times and i am afraid that i'll end up being laughed or misjudged that i am just good at the start. i don't want that. i want to have the same kind of stance until the end, but sometimes, you can't get away with the fact that you laid back and just want to sit there doing nothing.
i am struggling...yeah, you heard it. i am struggling to keep the same kind of attitude at work. the attitude that had earned me more compliments from co-workers, more trust from higher management and more praises for a job well done.
sigh
but on the other side, i thought that if i won't to give my self a break, i'll end up shattering my self, and the person that i have become.
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