LiFe, LovE, FriEnDsHip and EveRytHing...

-Clip Bleeding-

2009-04-05T00:36:00.000-07:00

so she sings it like that..."Clip Bleeding, clip clip bleeding in love!" hahaha. at least naa tuno akong anak mo kanta. at almost 3 years old, she can already sing her favorite songs, and yeah, one of it is "Keep Bleeding" (Clip Bleeding)...

and she sounds so cute when she sings this. another of her favorite is "Alone" (by celine dion) oh diba, naay giliwatan...training lng cguro gmay kay murag baho man iyang tuno! hehehe...

love you bb shane!

-Hiding Inside Myself-

2009-03-07T08:47:00.000-08:00

i was awake early morning today to catch up with some of my evaluations. Had to superduper be fast in order for me to finish before sunset and go to the office to dispo and upload it. But as I go through with my evaluations, I was struck with a sudden feeling of loneliness. I don't know if this is because of the pills am taking but there is a little pain in my heart for some reason. i don't know why. I listened to some music and bumped into the song "Hiding Inside Myself". Then I remembered someone sung this song to me beautifully. -sigh-
It was sung to me with sincerity and honesty, that I thought, the person really meant it. Or just a thought, am not sure.
Well, so much for this. Got to get back on track and avoid interruptions. Got to work!

Bills, Bills, Bills...

2009-02-15T22:14:00.000-08:00

last saturday, valentine, i never get the chance to check our telephone and internet connection because we were so bussssssssy preparing for a somehow valentine family activity with Kenn's family in Villa Teresita. When Sunday came, my sister had to go to our house for an important matter and had to tell me that when she was calling me since Saturday, our phone was out of service. I wasn't aware. I then lifted the phone and checked it, and so i found out. NO DIAL TONE ang show sa telephone, thus NO INTERNET pd. kafaet...giputol among connection without giving us warning...grrrrrrrr...
when we paid our bill last February 2nd, we were not given a billing statement and we were told by the customer service to just pay 2k since our bill hasn't been adjusted yet. But it already reflected that we have to pay around 4k, because of our transfer payment and all the churvalu...
hay, it ended na we have to pay the remaining balance of 2k so the phone and internet can be reconnected, otherwise, if it's permanently disconnected then we will have to pay for the reconnection fee...grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
i was fuming with anger jud...ug sa pwerte jud nakong yawyaw...dah, manager lagi ang nag compute sa among bill ug dihadiha gi adjust among payment and it was reconnected not less than 2 hours after we paid the amount required. waaaaaaaaaaaaa...ang ending?
shortness.com sa budget...etsep!
anyway, so much for that...
am just sharing my experience with pldt my dsl!

A Second Life

2009-01-16T15:36:00.000-08:00

it was past 12 midnight...

i was supposed to go to work...and then everything became blurry...i was hurting...
everybody seemed to be panicking..."Doc, 50/40!" one person shouted... I know I was conscious. Or maybe I am fighting to be so.

I tried to open my eyes, the lights from where I was seemed to be so bright that I can't almost see. Somebody was tapping me, "Ma'am ayaw ug katulog ma'am" tapping me harder. Someone was punching my diaphragm, "Ma'am??!" and I just tried to respond and opened my eyes...

December 3, 2008, I was fighting life over death...a fight I almost did not win...

"Day, ako c Doctora Roa ha..." a girl in an operating suit was talking to me. I know I was rushed to the hospital because I was hurting...that was the last thing I can fully remember. When I finally was able to have the courage to open my eyes and insisted to look around and see what was happening, I was in shock. There were a lot of nurses, assisting both of the Doctors who were checking on me. "Vitals?" somebody shouted, I couldn't see who she was. "Stable!" someone answered back.

I closed my eyes...I then remembered, I was in the Emergency room, hurting like hell. I saw Kenn's face, he was worried, the kind of face I have never seen in our entire lives together. "basin diay dili Doc..." I heard him being in denial upon hearing the doctor's diagnosis. "Ipa ultrasound lng sa nato Doc.." he insisted...and I can't seem to hear the rest of the conversations. I was hurting...so much that I couldn't bear it anymore.

"Tay, ngano daw dugay?" I asked him, trying to clarify why I wasn't still given any medication. He was just holding my hands. His were as cold as mine. I then know something serious was happening to me...I closed my eyes, and for a brief moment, I called Jesus' name...and I passed out...I don't know for how long...

"Day! Day! mata Day!, ayaw ug katulog Day, kadiyot nlng ni!" a pretty girl was instructing me not to close my eyes and feel asleep. She was also punching me in the diaphragm, harder than she could. All I could do everytime she punched me was open my eyes, but I couldn't say anything, even if it was painful. "Ako lng e capture imong ultrasound, then adto nata sa OR!"

"Ready na inyong kwarta Dong?" somebody asked Kenn, and all I could see on his face was fear and anger, all at the same time. He was pale. He was in panicked. He kept on going here and there and talking to someone in the cellphone. He was worried, worst, he didn't seem to know what to do. I pittied him. I couldn't help him. I was lying in bed, helpless as well.

"Ready na?!" the girl who introduced herself as Doctora Roa asked everyone in the Operating Room. "Yes Doc!" Almost everyone answered...

Somebody put something in my mouth and nose, "Day Oxygen lng na!" and I couldn't breathe...and I passed out again...

When I woke up, I couldn't speak. I couldn't almost see. Everything was blurry. I am dead...or I thought so...I then realized that I was just in the recovery room , that was around 7 in the morning. The next thing I know, I won the fight I had with DEATH. I was given a SECOND LIFE.

A lot of realizations happen with that incident. Our lives changed to something we didn't expect. I have discovered true friends in the event of being in a 50/50 stage. I have known heroes who would choose to help others than thinking of themselves first.

I THANK them from the bottom of my heart. (and you know who you are guys)

But most of all, I thank GOD for giving the chance to be with the ones I love again.

blogging

2009-01-16T15:00:00.000-08:00

it's been a loooooooong while that i haven't blogged about anything. In fact, i quote one of my colleague telling me, "Shar, wla na lagi kay blog blog?" and I just can't find the right excuse in my mind. Well, primarily because we just had our internet connection back. We transferred to another house. Yes, you heard it. We transferred again, and hopefully, we won't have to transfer again someday soon. But if you come to think of it, 3 months have passed since I last blogged, I don't think I have given enough excuse to justify myself...

Yes, a lot of things happened in my life for the past months that I have not shared with you guys...but bottom line, am glad am still here...

Keep you posted...hopefully

of ReStDaYs and WeeKeNds

2008-10-11T14:45:00.000-07:00

i just had a good night sleep...
i didn't almost realize that kenn already left for work last night and we (shane and I) were left with the TV playing Barney and Dora.
i woke up and realized that it was 1am and the TV was still on, while Shane was already asleep. Probably she woke me up like she usually does, to ask me to turn off the TV but I believe and am pretty sure that because I was so tired, i was not able to wake up. She might have figured it out after several times of waking me up and just put her self to sleep.
well, when i woke up at around 1am, i turned off the TV, kissed Shane on the forehead, and placed her in a comfortable position in bed...
then, i went back to sleep.
it was a nice feeling thinking that you can go to sleep as much as you want without thinking of anything to do.
it's mind resting...and it's re energizing me! :-)

thank God of ReSt Days & WeeKeNds

LoSiNg GrIp

2008-10-10T15:48:00.000-07:00

its been a while since i was here...i miss this...sigh
was i too busy or was i just lazy to write anything? well, i think both...

i think i am loosing my grip on everything...and i meant everything...
i feel that i need time for my self and reorient things...you might be thinking that am in another "critical" situation again, but hey, not really.

there are just times in our lives that we wanted to break free...from anything. i don't want to imply that i am tired of the kind of life that i have but sometimes, i feel that everything has become a routine for me. and i don't want to loose such enthusiasm and energy that i have.

i feel like am choking at times, or maybe because i am taking everything seriously...one friend even told me, "loosen up gurl, you seemed just too tight these days!" and i just nodded and smiled. maybe because i know that it's true but i am just denying it.

i thought about it several times and i am afraid that i'll end up being laughed or misjudged that i am just good at the start. i don't want that. i want to have the same kind of stance until the end, but sometimes, you can't get away with the fact that you laid back and just want to sit there doing nothing.

i am struggling...yeah, you heard it. i am struggling to keep the same kind of attitude at work. the attitude that had earned me more compliments from co-workers, more trust from higher management and more praises for a job well done.

sigh

but on the other side, i thought that if i won't to give my self a break, i'll end up shattering my self, and the person that i have become.

(more coffee please...lol!)

FiNaLLy

2008-10-05T06:17:00.000-07:00

Finally, we have our own QA room!
Since i3 was officially opened and the other department that used to occupy our room transferred there, we finally got our own QA room.
it's inspiring...char!

well, it's really nice to have something you can call your own...now, we can say that we have privacy...that we can at least do things we are prohibited to do when we joined the agents in the production floor...gud luck sa violators list!
now that we have our own room...mas grabe na ang krimen...hahahhahaaha....

hurray to the new QA room! the long wait is over...

asking...seeking...knocking...

2008-09-27T04:05:00.000-07:00

i am in awe how God can make HIS creation the most beautiful of all. human as we are, i agree that we are the most beautiful, almost perfect creation of God.

Indeed we are the most beautiful. but when i looked at children being helpless and hopeless of their illness, i stopped and think, "how come these things happen when God wanted HIS creation to be perfect? How can HE allow little angels to suffer as if the world has been torn apart on them?" i pity them so much. and i don't understand. i am confuse and until i will get a valid reason and an acceptable one, i will continue being confuse.

i am not blaming God or anything to that effect. i believe i am just one soul wanting my questions to be answered. i know i have a lot of things to learn in this world. i know that there are some of us who have stopped asking themselves questions because they have found the answers to it already.

i thank God for all the blessings that i have in my life. but what about those children who don't even have the chance to enjoy a normal life because of their sickness?

when i gave birth to my baby, all i wished was just for her to be normal, and i remember writing in one of my blog entry that i got what i have wished for. in fact, more of it. she wasn't just normal, she had grown to be a sweet little girl, appreciative of the things around her, which i am very much thankful for.

on one thought, i wish and hope that all kids are given the chance to have such kind of life, and abilities that one can appreciate.

-sigh-

i think all i am trying to get into is that i pray my niece, my sister's baby, who is now admitted in the hospital and was diagnosed to have pneumonia and down syndrome, will be able to surpass this stage in her life and live a normal one in the future.

and i am hoping as well that i will be able to find answers to my questions in time.

- UNAPPRECIATED -

2008-09-18T06:00:00.000-07:00

How cruel is the world
Even if you have given your all,
Still, you are not worth it

How pitiless are the people around
Even if you almost died for it,
Still, you are nothing

Worthless YOU, they say
People don’t seem to care anyway
You do your part and yet it’s not enough

You still end up being unappreciated.

-flu mania-

2008-09-17T07:55:00.000-07:00

unfortunately, everyone in our family is kind-a sick right now. my baby still has cough, kenn sneezes and coughs all the time, and am awfully sick.

i hate it when i am sick...i hate it when my plans are disrupted because am not feeling well. i hate it when i can't seem to do what am i supposed to because i have illness. huhuuuhuh

but on the lighter side, am glad that my baby is getting well, although not that much yet. she was prescribed an antibiotic when we went to prime care and had her checked. the doctor said she is just fine, she just had to take the medicine prescribed in order to be well ASAP.

my hubby still feels a bit sick but he just can take it. i know him. he will complain if he can no longer handle the hassles he feels. although, he is just doing water therapy and taking neozep irregularly, he is feeling a bit better than the previous days.

while me, this just started and i know this will stay in a while. but i have taken medicine and am not gonna be beaten with this...am not gonna be a poor victim of flu mania...

although i know i already am...

-am all out of love-

2008-09-12T16:14:00.000-07:00

what do you do when love suddenly fails? when love suddenly fades? when love suddenly dies and fall out of no reason?
"please love me or i'll be gone...i'll be gone"
i remember the song from air supply. would i beg to be loved just to stay in love?
they say love is a commitment. but what would you do if such commitment will take away the real you? if such commitment will shatter everything you have hoped and dreamed for?
"please love me or i'll be gone...i'll be gone"

tHe ReaL EssEncE oF A WoMaN

2008-09-11T15:45:00.000-07:00

this is like miss universe question and answer portion but what really is the real essence of a woman?
i just had this in my mind when i read my friend's blog entry (karlamae) where she shared about the happiness of being a mother. i thought to my self that being a mother myself, i can say that this is what completes a woman - the real essence of a woman.
on the other hand, i thought that there are more to that. there are more to being a woman, to being a mother, to being a wife, to being single and happy.
so what do you think? add it here...

- uNtiTLed -

2008-09-11T15:38:00.000-07:00

i look at my blog entries from the past months and i was amazed how updated i was before. in fact, i have had lots of OT at work during those times and yet, i have found a way to always update my site and share whatever was on my mind to the rest of the world. i know that i don't have the kind of energy i used to have and i wanted it back - badly. not just for updating my blog site and doing some blog entries but i wanted to be as aggressive and as energetic as i was before. i believe that this would be for my own good. if i will be used to being too lax, then i will get use to doing little things and when the time comes that i would need to do more as work and necessity dictates, then i will have a big problem...would you agree? i bet you would.

tHe cHiLd in MeH

2008-09-11T15:21:00.000-07:00

i am now 25 years old and i still get amazed and excited with mascots and childish stuff... when jollibee came to the office for an account's theme party, i was so happy when i saw him. he was so cute and i wanted to take pictures with him right away. but he was just roaming near the account's area that sponsored his stay in the office and when he came near our stations, i didn't waste any time and i grabbed him and laughed when he made some funny gestures. i then signaled my colleague (edcel - who was celebrating his bertday dat day just in time for jabe to be around) to take pictures and in no time, i was posing and grinning with jollibee. it was a stress reliever! i found time to breath from doing evaluations and revealed the child in me.

i know that everyone of us has a child in themselves. we just have to wait for the right and perfect time to show this to the world, not thinking of being ashamed or embarrassed. and i guess i had shown mine already...lol

this was really a funny experience...go go go jabe!

- aM miSSing You -

2008-09-06T16:53:00.000-07:00

i don't know what am feeling right now. i just felt so alone and lonely. (whatever that means) i know i am such a blessed person to have all the people around me and the things that i have, but part of me is missing YoU...:-(
i miss the times when we were little children, when we play till we get tired and talk till morning...
when we don't care about the time as long as we weretogether...
i miss the times when we comforted each other...when we're sad and heart broken
i miss the times when we ate together, watched TV shows and argued which channel to turn to
i miss the times when we dipped into the water together and never thought of drowning
i miss the times when we hugged - hugged tight until we realized that we don't want to let go of each other...

i am missing YOU...

when your family hurts you...it's twice the PAIN

2008-09-03T17:13:00.000-07:00

they are the last persons you would expect to hurt you. In fact, they are the first ones you would expect to open their arms and comfort you when you are in trouble or going through difficult situations.
i just realize that sometimes, you become fed up of understanding and always giving in-- you would eventually give up and just leave things as they are. it's so sad to think that those people whom you are expecting to understand are the very people to turn their backs on you and push you to the limit. am hurt...i know it will just pass by and eventually, i will again give in...but with what happened, i don't think i will be the same again...:-(

KeEpiNg My SaNiTy

2008-08-29T21:31:00.000-07:00

for the past few days, i have been struggling with stress and problems. although i tried not to let this show on my face each and everyday, it's hard to pretend that everything is okay. i have been in this situation before, and it's difficult to just smile, laugh with friends and enjoy the day when my mind is on something else. -sigh-
you might be thinking that this is some kind of a heart problem or anything to do with family. NO. In fact, i am very much thankful to have a husband that is so understanding and supportive of me. who is always ready to give way for my tantrums. lol
this is something within me. stress from keeping my sanity!
am not saying that i am insane or to that effect, lol. not literally. i am just going through things that sometimes, most of us consider difficult to handle.
so how am i keeping my sanity?
go figure. -sigh-

tHaNkS to D NeW MoDem

2008-08-23T02:54:00.000-07:00

when we had our internet connection, we did not have that much of a wonderful experience. our internet was not connected right away, it was down for how many days after a couple of days it was connected, and then finally, after 48 years (am just exaggerating) of complaining to our provider's customer service, our modem was replaced.
From then on, i noticed that our internet connection was no longer intermittent (buyag lang!). Our connection is already good. Thanks to the New modem they provided us.
On the other hand, i haven't gotten any credit from the days I lost my internet (crap!). It's still not reflected on my bill. grrrrrrrrrrrrr... and when i called customer service (again), the rep told me that my credit was already approved. (yehey). I was so happy. at last, i can get even. but she said that it will be reflected on the next bill yet, and what was worst was that, the credit that was approved was only (brace your self!) P33.00! wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Ni hatag pa cla ug credit!

it's been a while

2008-08-23T02:47:00.000-07:00

i have noticed that come this August, i was not writing as much as i was last month. i dunno if this is because i am busy with work and work, or if it is that i have lost the interest in writing and updating my blog site. anyway, from the last time i composed a topic to be posted here on my site, many things have happened. although none was that impacting, it still became part of my life.
On the lighter side, i could say that the OT free weekend gave me so much time to be with my family and to be with my self. am still enjoying what i am doing right now. i have a choice.
see yah next blog and am hoping to keep you posted as much as i can.
:-)

long weekend

2008-08-15T16:27:00.000-07:00

it's another long weekend...yet i have to work...OT...OT...OT... and this is why they call me the OT Queen. anyway, i am not complaining, because aside from getting our site (Cebu site) to hit its goal, am also earning extra! (just enough to pay all my dues...hehehe)
anyway, i just thought of escaping from work and go somewhere else. but i doubt if that can be done as of this time. again, i have to set my priorities, and when you have responsibilities, you can't just leave them. -sigh-
am just hoping to have an ordinary weekend, spent with my extraordinary family. hehehe...

onion skin

2008-08-09T00:34:00.001-07:00

i hate it when i cry because of feeling tensed and stressed. i hate it when i look so "iyakin" in the eyes of the many when in fact i know that this is my way of releasing the stress and finding the strength to face whatever i have to face. what do you think of this? all i know is that it's bad to start crying just to compose yourself but it's how i find the most comforting zone and after it am fine. -sigh-

jUst a BaD DaY

2008-08-07T22:55:00.001-07:00

i had to go to work early yesterday because of a meeting i needed to attend. i used to come to work at around 11pm but yesterday, i had to cut my sleep short and had to ask my hubby to put my baby to sleep in order to attend the meeting. it's not that i am complaining, it's just that when you're used to doing things, it's somehow hard (can't find the best adjective) to overcome change. on the lighter side, that was just for our site's own good. (bawi lagi dayon). when i arrived at the office, i found out that i am the only one that can attend the meeting. my colleagues unfortunately can't attend for some important reasons. (so this was where the bad day started? dunno). but i wasn't bothered. it wasn't a big deal anyway. so after the meeting, i then rushed to the 12th floor to mingle with the rest of my colleagues. when i started doing evaluations, i found out that the tool we were using for evaluating TL's was down since Tuesday so my plan of doing TL evals was change. I then shifted to doing agent evals instead. At the middle of doing my 4th evaluation, i suddenly felt hurt on my left eye. my sight became blurry and i had to close my eyes to regain my vision. i was a bit scared. i had the same experience when i was still an agent but i remembered i didn't take any medicine. but last night was different. it was really hurting so i had to inform my supervisor to go to the clinic, and so i did. in fact one of my colleagues accompanied me. (thanks dudley!) the doctor said it's no big deal. i still have 20/20 vision, but it was really hurting. so i rested my eyes for a while. (wana signos na!) at around 2am, can't remember the exact time, my supervisor called all of us to go to her station to be instructed on how to pull up a framework for our TL Review. (they found a way on how to do a work around). So all of us gathered in her station and listened to her. (this was where the scariest thing happened that day, to those who were there, you know what i mean. unfortunately, can't put everything in detail here.) i was stunned and scared to death with what happened and so was every one. but again, no big deal. i had a lot of things to think about than what happened that time. and my colleagues were very supportive. in fact i caught one of my colleagues saying, "we don't have to put our teammate down just because of..." and i didn't hear the rest of the sentence anymore. what i was thankful for was i have teammates (whom i consider friends as well) that can stand for what is right. thanks everyone! (so that was the second sign that i really had a bad day) when i went home, since i can no longer bare the pain in my eyes, i called my hubby to fetch me and he said "yes i will go there now." so i rushed to the ground floor and waited, and waited, and waited. i wondered where he went. he was not there yet even if our house was just 5 minutes away from the office. so i called him again, and i found out that he fell asleep again. "what?" i thought so. if i didn't call and just waited there, i could have waited forever. GRRRRRRRRRRRR.... it's just a bad day! as what they always say, "when it rains, it pours!" wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... from the time i started my shift until i ended it, i had a terrible day. what about you? how was your day yesterday?

sUddEnLy

2008-08-06T22:38:00.000-07:00

when i started blogging, i had the energy of a horse to update my blog site everyday. in fact, i signed up for my own internet access in the house to make sure that i am updated and connected everyday. but suddenly, i am tired. i dunno if i lost the motivation or if i ran out of topic to write on my blog. i just dunno. it has been how many days since i have not posted as much as i used to in my blog site. i am hoping to be able to update it soon. keep posted everyone.

diCkieS sUnGLassEs

2008-08-02T04:25:00.000-07:00

since his old sunglasses was broken, he had been deciding to buy a new one but he can't find anything he likes, which would fall on his criteria -- nice, good quality and cheap. duh! you can never find some sunglasses of that kind for just 150-200 pesos. I doubt it.
I have been telling him to just buy something with real quality and don't mind the price, but he won't. he doesn't want to. i have been convincing him to buy, but he was hard headed.
so what i did was surprise him. when we bought some stuff for me after the recent pay day, i told him if he wanted to check out some sunglasses in the men's department. we have been doing that before but he always ends up not buying because he can't find anything that he likes. (which is cheap)
i told him to check out the Dickie's booth and try looking for sunglasses that he may like. well, fortunately, he liked one but again, he was hesitant to buy because of the price.
without second thoughts, i signaled the sales lady that i will get it and i announced it to him. he was shocked and even looked at me and said, "it's expensive mommy!" i ignored him and rushed to the counter and paid.
i know in his heart that he really liked it. and after paying, he hugged me and said, "thank you mommy. nice lagi to sya."
he deserve to get it. we love you tay.