asking...seeking...knocking...

i am in awe how God can make HIS creation the most beautiful of all. human as we are, i agree that we are the most beautiful, almost perfect creation of God.

Indeed we are the most beautiful. but when i looked at children being helpless and hopeless of their illness, i stopped and think, "how come these things happen when God wanted HIS creation to be perfect? How can HE allow little angels to suffer as if the world has been torn apart on them?" i pity them so much. and i don't understand. i am confuse and until i will get a valid reason and an acceptable one, i will continue being confuse.

i am not blaming God or anything to that effect. i believe i am just one soul wanting my questions to be answered. i know i have a lot of things to learn in this world. i know that there are some of us who have stopped asking themselves questions because they have found the answers to it already.

i thank God for all the blessings that i have in my life. but what about those children who don't even have the chance to enjoy a normal life because of their sickness?

when i gave birth to my baby, all i wished was just for her to be normal, and i remember writing in one of my blog entry that i got what i have wished for. in fact, more of it. she wasn't just normal, she had grown to be a sweet little girl, appreciative of the things around her, which i am very much thankful for.

on one thought, i wish and hope that all kids are given the chance to have such kind of life, and abilities that one can appreciate.

-sigh-




i think all i am trying to get into is that i pray my niece, my sister's baby, who is now admitted in the hospital and was diagnosed to have pneumonia and down syndrome, will be able to surpass this stage in her life and live a normal one in the future.

and i am hoping as well that i will be able to find answers to my questions in time.

- UNAPPRECIATED -

How cruel is the world
Even if you have given your all,
Still, you are not worth it

How pitiless are the people around
Even if you almost died for it,
Still, you are nothing

Worthless YOU, they say
People don’t seem to care anyway
You do your part and yet it’s not enough

You still end up being unappreciated.

-flu mania-

unfortunately, everyone in our family is kind-a sick right now. my baby still has cough, kenn sneezes and coughs all the time, and am awfully sick.

i hate it when i am sick...i hate it when my plans are disrupted because am not feeling well. i hate it when i can't seem to do what am i supposed to because i have illness. huhuuuhuh

but on the lighter side, am glad that my baby is getting well, although not that much yet. she was prescribed an antibiotic when we went to prime care and had her checked. the doctor said she is just fine, she just had to take the medicine prescribed in order to be well ASAP.

my hubby still feels a bit sick but he just can take it. i know him. he will complain if he can no longer handle the hassles he feels. although, he is just doing water therapy and taking neozep irregularly, he is feeling a bit better than the previous days.

while me, this just started and i know this will stay in a while. but i have taken medicine and am not gonna be beaten with this...am not gonna be a poor victim of flu mania...

although i know i already am...

-am all out of love-

what do you do when love suddenly fails? when love suddenly fades? when love suddenly dies and fall out of no reason?
"please love me or i'll be gone...i'll be gone"
i remember the song from air supply. would i beg to be loved just to stay in love?
they say love is a commitment. but what would you do if such commitment will take away the real you? if such commitment will shatter everything you have hoped and dreamed for?
"please love me or i'll be gone...i'll be gone"

tHe ReaL EssEncE oF A WoMaN

this is like miss universe question and answer portion but what really is the real essence of a woman?
i just had this in my mind when i read my friend's blog entry (karlamae) where she shared about the happiness of being a mother. i thought to my self that being a mother myself, i can say that this is what completes a woman - the real essence of a woman.
on the other hand, i thought that there are more to that. there are more to being a woman, to being a mother, to being a wife, to being single and happy.
so what do you think? add it here...

- uNtiTLed -

i look at my blog entries from the past months and i was amazed how updated i was before. in fact, i have had lots of OT at work during those times and yet, i have found a way to always update my site and share whatever was on my mind to the rest of the world. i know that i don't have the kind of energy i used to have and i wanted it back - badly. not just for updating my blog site and doing some blog entries but i wanted to be as aggressive and as energetic as i was before. i believe that this would be for my own good. if i will be used to being too lax, then i will get use to doing little things and when the time comes that i would need to do more as work and necessity dictates, then i will have a big problem...would you agree? i bet you would.

tHe cHiLd in MeH

i am now 25 years old and i still get amazed and excited with mascots and childish stuff... when jollibee came to the office for an account's theme party, i was so happy when i saw him. he was so cute and i wanted to take pictures with him right away. but he was just roaming near the account's area that sponsored his stay in the office and when he came near our stations, i didn't waste any time and i grabbed him and laughed when he made some funny gestures. i then signaled my colleague (edcel - who was celebrating his bertday dat day just in time for jabe to be around) to take pictures and in no time, i was posing and grinning with jollibee. it was a stress reliever! i found time to breath from doing evaluations and revealed the child in me.

i know that everyone of us has a child in themselves. we just have to wait for the right and perfect time to show this to the world, not thinking of being ashamed or embarrassed. and i guess i had shown mine already...lol

this was really a funny experience...go go go jabe!

- aM miSSing You -

i don't know what am feeling right now. i just felt so alone and lonely. (whatever that means) i know i am such a blessed person to have all the people around me and the things that i have, but part of me is missing YoU...:-(
i miss the times when we were little children, when we play till we get tired and talk till morning...
when we don't care about the time as long as we weretogether...
i miss the times when we comforted each other...when we're sad and heart broken
i miss the times when we ate together, watched TV shows and argued which channel to turn to
i miss the times when we dipped into the water together and never thought of drowning
i miss the times when we hugged - hugged tight until we realized that we don't want to let go of each other...



i am missing YOU...

when your family hurts you...it's twice the PAIN

they are the last persons you would expect to hurt you. In fact, they are the first ones you would expect to open their arms and comfort you when you are in trouble or going through difficult situations.
i just realize that sometimes, you become fed up of understanding and always giving in-- you would eventually give up and just leave things as they are. it's so sad to think that those people whom you are expecting to understand are the very people to turn their backs on you and push you to the limit. am hurt...i know it will just pass by and eventually, i will again give in...but with what happened, i don't think i will be the same again...:-(